The small rituals that have helped me reconnect with my voice
Finding my way back to myself through small, daily acts of listening.
After 13 years of working for brands and agencies, I found myself at a place I never thought I would. I no longer knew my own voice. I had lent pieces of it to people, places, and products all over the world. I had molded it, shaped it, melted it down to make it fit into containers that were never really quite the right fit. Somewhere along the way, while I was building voices from scratch for brands, I forgot what my own voice sounded like. I had lost it. And I honestly didn’t even know where to look.
When voice work is your bread and butter, it’s kinda shocking to come to the realization that, although you had created so many voices for so many other people and businesses out there, you no longer had a relationship with your own, but I can sadly say that’s exactly what happened to me. What did I really think about the world? What was my unique perspective? What were my values? My mission? I literally no longer had any idea. I was drawing nothing but blanks. It was like the years of the corporate world had somehow hammered it out of me, and I didn’t even really know who I was anymore or what I thought.
That was, until I decided it was time to step out onto my own. I realized that I no longer knew what I was working for, what the point was, what my mission was beyond just trying to make a stable income (which I had already achieved, but you know how it goes, once you have it, you just want more). And so I took some time. Time to journal, reflect, have conversations with other female creatives in similar boats, and meet with mentors and coaches. I was determined to find what moved me again, what made me want to create in the first place, and why it even mattered. But it wasn’t a short process (and to be honest, I tend to think it’s a process that’s never really done.) It’s always evolving. But I had to take it slow. Tiny little baby steps back home to myself.
They say that doing 1% of changes/efforts/something like that every day over time makes a world of difference. It seems like a lofty concept, but it’s true that the tiny little things that you do every day eventually add up to something. My daily rituals are what keep me grounded, they’re what keep me on task, they keep me focused on what lies ahead, but in a grounded way. Because the way I was wired is to sprint 110 miles into the next big idea, and then freak myself out, and then get scared and retreat. Blame it perhaps on my Cancer sun / Aries moon combo, but this pattern has made me realize that my nervous system needs ritual to move forward in a sustainable way.
Ritual 1: Morning meditation
I try to do this one first thing, right after I wake up. I check in with myself to see how I am feeling that day and what kind of meditation I need. Lately, I have been using the TBM app, but I also love Insight Timer. Both have a library of meditations for every mood or desired outcome. Even just 15 minutes per day is enough to keep me grounded when everything feels like it’s moving a little too fast.
Ritual 2: Journaling
There are two types of journaling practices I like to do. Post-meditation, I like to write out my pings, ideas, or even just random words that come to me. They’re more often than not the start of a new idea. The other type of journaling I love to do is freewrite. It’s completely therapeutic and helps all the swirling thoughts get out of my head and onto a page. I often can solve entire problems on a page.
Ritual 3: Podcast walks
This has become one of my favorite rituals. As a remote worker for the past 5-6 years, I tend to get a bit stir crazy pretty quickly. Sitting at home staring at a computer screen for several hours a day usually does that to a person. I’m lucky enough to live in a pretty walkable area of Los Angeles, there are tons of vibey coffee shops and restaurants nearby, and the neighborhood is a lovely little place to stroll. Lately, I’ve been obsessed with podcast walks. I select an episode from one of my favorites (which is currently a rotating selection of Wanting in Public, To Be Magnetic, and/or whatever someone has sent me recently) and just stroll around aimlessly, stopping only to take photos and grab a bougie little coffee (my treat to myself for getting out of the house.) There’s something about the elite combination of movement, fresh air, and listening to badass women wax on about interesting things that really does something to my mental state. I look forward to this part of the day every day.
Ritual 4: Freewrite at night
I have a bunch of writing prompts for potential Substack topics, all written out for times when I get stumped. I put on a 30-minute timer late at night (since it’s my most potent creative time) and I just write. I use this time to dump all of my unsolicited thoughts about a topic on a page, in freeform, without editing, without thinking. I just write. This is a newer practice that I have been testing out (you can read more about it here), but it’s crazy once you realize how much you can write once you stop self-editing during the process. Plus, again, it’s therapeutic.
To help you figure out what rituals would be most helpful for you, here are some thought starters / writing prompts:
What is the one thing that makes you feel most grounded? What makes you feel more relaxed?
What makes you feel most creative? Think about moments that really lit you up, or when you felt most in flow. What were you doing?
If you’re feeling stuck, take a few deep breaths and step away from your computer.
Get outside in nature. Soak up your surroundings. Allow yourself to wander. (And wonder.)
Romanticize something small today. A mundane task. Something that normally feels very average.
Carry a notepad everywhere. Or use your notes app. Take notes on lingering thoughts.
Take voice notes. Use the dictator setting on your phone and gab to yourself as if you’re talking to a friend about whatever is on your mind.
What rituals help you get unstuck? What helps you get out of the spiral and into the creative flow? I’d love to know! Share in the comments.